the nearby Elders’ center of emakingir’s house, under 9th snow in lunar 2009.
the gloomy day, except bright clouds in other side of the sky.
last Friday a neighbor colleague yelled in office that next day would snow according weather forecast, but i didn’t take for granted. then yesterday was bright day, with bright sunshine most of the day. i dozed a lot in the morning to escape from message about my youngest beloved, a slim and tall young girl with Taiwan backgroud. we totally met twice in the street near baby’s mother’s school. the first time she bought snack alone in a nearby shop, the second time when i just cared my baby when she walked with a large bag with a girl pal. each time i was dumbfound as her beauty and age-can’t-bringing cunning beams. in the most distressed moment in my hometown when i just arrived a night, on a dawn, i told the sprite in the Forrest on the mountain on my arrangement, i let her to visit me and stay at any moment she likes for any length of time she enjoys with me, and research what she likes, esp. about the wrecked. i arranged she to entertain me most, with her untouchable perfection of beauty and youth. i cherish her with my most tendering and love of beauty.
the morning i slept a lot to avoid dwelling too much about her, for i didn’t expect our reunion so soon. after woke up, i missed in thoughts about her, and got view she now in urgency to live with me and enjoy being my hostess. i saw lots of attempts she managed to inform me anonymously, urging me to take action to farewell to my current status. i was full of longing and passion with the life ahead, and adopted the message from holy on how to make full pleasure with her, who is so young and mature. all the afternoon i restlessly, can’t find anything interesting, except her, the Taiwan girl. on the end of the night, i decided to listen to God, trust me life with his setting, and do what i can and enjoy now.
the night ema again urged to sleep early and left less quilt for me, with baby and she took most of the quilt. her body usually very hot, and these days esp. hot. last night i can’t bear the heat and slept less. so this night i later decided to sleep alone in another quilt. i slept sound this morning. after i got up, i found a shallow snow already covered the most of the earth. its another white tale to assure me that my fiancees all secured and divined against dirt and dark. what i need do is just here calling ur floral names and praying the wedding day sooner and brighter. our union is inscribed in Heaven.
update: now its turned into a drizzle, with the soil shallow wet, like Chinese traditional poem has it, spring rain scarce like oil. i really really love the rain day and what it brings me the shallow sorrow, a life memory shaped in my hometown, Central China, where rain plenty.
benzyrnill, set to fly 